With this tutorial, I'm going to explain how to change a passenger air vent for a 1996, 1997, or 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee ZJ. For this tutorial, we'll be using a 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee 5.9 Limited in stone white.

What you'll need:

• A (small) Phillips head screwdriver
• A Phillips head screwdriver with an angled tip (alternatively, you can use a small adjustment wrench with a Phillips head bit)
• A new passenger air vent

Remove the long, plastic panel that spans the entire base of the windshield. To do this, start at one end and pry your fingers underneath it to pop it up. It's only held in by clips.

To the left and right of the steering wheel are 2 wooden bezels. To remove them, wiggle your fingers behind them to gently pry them off. They're also only help in by clips.

To remove the dashboard bezel, you'll need to remove 10 screws. 5 screws are on the top and 5 screws are on the bottom. Then gently pull the bezel forward to remove it.

To detach the glove box panel, you'll need to remove 9 screws. 4 inside the glove box, 1 on the right side of the dashboard panel, and 4 underneath the glove box.

To detach the VIC bezel, engage the Jeep's emergency brake, turn on the ignition, move the gear shifter to 1st gear and pull the 4 wheel drive lever back to neutral (this gives us room).

Now remove the ashtray and the 2 screws at the top of the bezel. Don't pull it forward just yet.

To remove the panel below the steering wheel, you'll need to remove 6 screws. 1 screw on the left side of the dashboard, 4 screws under the steering wheel, and 1 screen to the right of the steering wheel. Gently pull this panel out.

You don't need to remove the VIC bezel and glove panel. Just pull them forward for some room.

You can also put your Jeep back in "Park" now and turn the ignition off to stop the lovely beeping.

To remove the dashboard panel, you'll need to remove 15 screws. 4 screws on the driver's side, 3 screws on the passenger side, and 8 screws (give or take 1 or 2) along the bottom part of the windshield.

Tip: If you don't have an angled Phillip's head screw driver for this step, you can use an adjustable wrench and Phillip's head bit to remove any hard to reach screws.

Once you've removed the screws, unlatch the 2 clips at the top of the dashboard panel. 1 clip is on the far left and 1 clip is on the far right.

​Just pull up on the clips and pull the dashboard out of the Jeep.

Once you've got the dashboard trim out of the Jeep, lay it face down so you're looking at its back.

To remove the broken passenger air vent, remove the 2 screws holding the passenger air vent in place and slide it down and out through the front.

Reverse this process to install the new passenger air vent.

Tip: Before screwing in your new passenger air vent, make sure to push it up as much as it can go so the top of it is flush with the trim on the front of the dashboard panel.

In January of this year -- specifically on my birthday -- I acquired a rather well-preserved white '98 Jeep Grand Cherokee 5.9 Limited V8 with roughly 136,000 miles.

​I'll spare you the time and effort I spent getting it and instead answer the question you may likely be asking yourself. Does she still purr?

Yes, but I would no longer call it a "purr". It's more of a "Get off my lawn, you damn kids or I'm calling the cops!"

You know how they say, "the older you are, the angrier you get"? Apparently it's true. I like it!

Oh, you know what it is. Do I really need to repeat what everyone else has many times before?

​That it is the grandfather of the Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8?

​That it has (had) 345 foot pounds of torque from a Dodge magnum V8?

That it has been clocked in from 0 to 60 at 6.7 seconds?

That only roughly 14,000 were made in just 1998? Surely fewer now, especially thanks to the well-intended, but poorly executed Cash for Clunkers government program.

No, I don't need to say all of that because I, well -- just did. Crap!

It's different, for sure. With all of the soft crossovers flooding the streets these days, I feel like an adult at a 2019 Backstreet Boys concert. They performed recently, right? I'm not a fan -- just making a point.

​It truly is driving a time capsule from the '90s.

From it's slightly tilted, but iron-flat dashboard with an obtrusive overhang, to its spare tire -- full size, might I add -- resting every so kindly and on full display in the "wayback" for you, all of your passengers, and the people tailgating you, to see.

In fact, you could think of the spare tire as one of your own children. If ever while driving you just need to see how she's doing, simply peek into the rear view mirror and you'll clearly see that round and well-inflated smile.

Even 20+ years later, I find that the 5.9's  acceleration is highly adequate for passing others or merging onto the highway.

A couple years ago, I had a 2011 WK2 with the 5.7 HEMI for a short period of time. The HEMI moved the WK2, but not like the 5.9 does the ZJ.

When you floor the HEMI, there is the expected strong pull that gets you going, but it doesn't last long due to the extra gears in the transmission that want to shift as early as possible to save gas.

The 5.9 is different. When you floor it, you are pushed much further back into the seats. In fact, I'm sometimes hesitant to do so for fear of breaking the support-lacking, miserable excuse for bucket seats.

Not only does the 5.9 V8 give you hell when the pedal is to the floor, unlike the HEMI, the pressure of being pushed back into the seats doesn't let up. It can be pretty intimidating, even if you're prepared for the yank.

Being a 20+ year old Jeep, there are sure to be things about her that have broken, fallen off, or simply rusted. But as an owner of a 5.9L, I feel it's my duty to take extra special care of this precious gem and rarity in the Jeep community.

One of the big concerns with the ZJs were their automatic transmissions, which were known for having issues.

In fact, before I purchased this 5.9L, I was looking at a black 5.9L that had some very apparent problems, including an issue with the solenoid in the transmission.

Purchasing this 5.9L was taking a $2,000 gamble (transmission repair cost) on top of the respected $2,000 asking price for the great condition this Jeep was in.

Sure, she shifted a bit hard at times, but there were no active or cleared transmission codes and the owner kept the service records, of which I went through and didn't find the word "transmission" once.

Costly powertrain aside, there was a leaking lower transmission cooler line, a ruptured and leaking auto-dim driver side mirror, and the leather on the steering wheel was mutilated.

The cigarette lighter was missing, which I assumed was part of the previous owner's attempt to upgrade the Jeep and give it a more 2019 feel.

Screws were missing from the interior door panels, dashboard, driver side sun visor, and the I'm-still-not-convinced-they're-stock "wayback" infinity ceiling speakers.

After reading through the Jeep's service records, I found the headliner was replaced at one point, which explained all of the missing screws, but not the laziness of the person who didn't put them back.

And of course, the VIC's "COOLANT SENSOR BAD" indicator is working just fine.

Much of these items I have restored, fixed, and replaced, but I still need to tackle the power seats, some rust on the exterior, a failing sun roof cloth, a front Jeep logo that has seen better days, and some new, less yellow headlights

Since she is such a special and rare Jeep, I plan on keeping her as stock as much as possible. However, I really would love to paint the rims and grill black.

Here's my poorly photoshopped vision of this modification:

It's a Jeep with solid front and rear axles, and a great low-end torque engine. Need I say anymore? I will.

The ride is very smooth, even before I replaced all 4 shocks with all new Bilstein's. Having said that, I never understood why Jeep replaced the solid axles with independent components.

Did the Grand Cherokee need better steering? Lighter and less components to meet government fuel economy standards? All of the above? It has to be, because my girlfriend loves how the Jeep just eats pot holes and other low-funded government road work with ease compared to her 2013 Honda Fit.

I will say that as much as the Grand Cherokee has evolved from 1993 to 2019, the one thing that remains the same is that it is truly a couch on wheels, no matter the generation.

​The one thing that drives me nuts are the seats. No, I'm not talking about their struggling ability to move with the push of a button. Honestly, I despise power seats -- just give me a lever (so much quicker).

The bucket seats are just tiny. So much so, that moving the headrest to its recommended height to best counteract whiplash removes them from their sliding tracks.

I don't like to lean too far back while driving, but the back rest seems to stop prematurely; still can't figure out if this is the stock position or the seat motor is having a temper tantrum.

I postulated if the seat's back rest came any more forward, my head would be touching the roof, so I'm thinking it's a stock position.

One of the reasons I swapped the TJ for this ZJ is room. I'm sure you haven't heard that before.

I didn't realize how much room this simply box shaped '90s Jeep had until my brother, who drives an XJ, noted how much bigger and roomy the interior was compared to his XJ.

For me, I foolishly thought all boxy Jeeps from the '90's were roughly the same interior size. The use of the word "Grand" in front of  "Cherokee" makes sense now.

The practical joys of this Jeep aside, there is a nostalgic component I wanted to tap. I can remember being a child, the "wayback" was where we spent most of our time in the ZJ our family had at the time.

Obviously the driver was in the driver's seat driving. My siblings and I, I should have said.

Also, as a child, I never got to appreciate the Jeep ZJ outside of my mechanically limited child brain's motto "It's a Jeep and will go anywhere". Honestly, I thought that was cool enough.

This Jeep comes with Quadra Trac 1 and I'm not 100% sure how the transfer case works.

The transfer case lever has 3 options: 4 High, Neutral, and 4 Low. Having a TJ, I know what these mean -- on a TJ -- but there has to be something more to them since the word "Grand" is used in front of "Wrangler".

From my research, Jeep had 2 Quadra Trac 1 systems at different points during their existence and any information I find on Quadra Trac 1 describes the one my Jeep doesn't have.

The owner's manual (yes, it still has it) wasn't any help, YouTube commentators seem to invent 4 wheel drive systems of their own in the comment section (no tools needed), but one website -- which wields a similar '90s design to my ZJ -- made the most sense in describing how the 4 wheel drive system works.

​I have to find that site, but they mentioned that while in 4 High, the transfer case will send 100% of the torque to the rear wheels. When slippage is detected in the front, the transfer case variably splits the torque between the front and rear wheels to increase traction (no side to side transferring).

Neutral is neutral.

4 Low works in a similar way (if not the exact way) to the TJ. The center differential is locked with an even 50/50 distribution of torque between the front and rear wheels, complemented by an increased gear ratio for greater low-end torque.

If you know how Quadra Trac 1 works in a 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee 5.9 Limited, I'm all ears.

I've spent plenty of time with the ZJ, WJ, WK, & WK2 as my daily drivers throughout my Jeep life.

My first Grand Cherokee was a 2002 black Laredo WJ (my parents also had one before I owned). I really enjoyed the WJ and took it off road quite often in my high school days.

The Select Trac 4 wheel drive system always made me feel in control, with its many different types of 4 wheel drive depending on your mood.

The WJ is really just a ZJ 2.0. One of these upgrades includes a stronger unibody compared to the ZJ. It also got a cabin filter, if I remember correctly.

Yes, the ZJ has no cabin filter.

I love the WJ, and honestly, it really is my favorite Grand Cherokee generation. That styling! I always like to say the exterior designers of the WJ simply stuck a straw in a ZJ and blew.

From the WJ, I graduated to a 2006 black WK Laredo, the first Grand Cherokee generation with an independent suspension in just the front. On the fence much? It's not a truck, so clearly there was some hesitation in going completely independent on the suspension.

The handling on the WK was very precise and responsive thanks to its independent front suspension. Turning the steering wheel in a ZJ or WJ comparably will result in just a slight nudge in the vehicle itself as opposed to its direction.

The WK had the ZJ and WJ beat with not only handling, but also computers.

​Good God!

I can specifically remember a time driving the WK through deep snow. To not get stuck, my experience off-roading told me to maintain momentum and slightly move the Jeep from side to side to bite new snow, to which the computer sensors in the tires did not approve.

As I pushed the accelerator down to maintain momentum, the wheels detected some slippage and began to automatically brake.

If you happened to drive parallel to me while this event was unfolding, you'd now know that what you saw was a man yelling at his Jeep to keep moving even though it didn't want to.

Not the greatest algorithm for a wheel drive system. The ZJ and WJ were great because they lacked 4 wheel drive systems that competed with stability control systems. You were in near-complete control.

Also, I wasn't the biggest fan of the WK's dismal ground clearance, of which snagged many times. The removable front air dam was nice for the increased approach angle.

A removable electronic stability control system would have been great for increased traction, ironically.

Lastly, we come to my 2011 silver WK2 Limited Altitude Edition, which was a part of my life for a very short period of time. I must first say that Jeep hit this one out of the park in terms of style. Wow, what a f**kin' good lookin' Jeep!

The WK2 was the first generation Grand Cherokee to feature an all independent suspension. Not cool, Jeep, but at least you've made up your mind.

As I drove it, it was really hard for me to figure out if what in fact I was driving was a Jeep. It was such a nice vehicle.

It came with the Select-Terrain knob, which changes how the 4 wheel drive system works depending on the road conditions. Simple enough. If THAT was too much work, you could just leave it in "AUTO" and the computer will figure it out for you.

I think computers are great for telling you that there is an EVAP system leak, but collaterally have found much of the joy in driving a Jeep off road is removed with them.​

I hear the engine of the new Wrangler JL shuts off if the door is opened. What the hell is that about?!

It's a real honor to drive a well-preserved 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee 5.9 Limited V8 in 2019.

I do get looks in the Jeep, but only from people who know that what I'm driving is so much more than just a first generation Grand Cherokee. It's the ultimate sleeper.

In the 3 months that I've had it, I've only seen one other 5.9. This rare occurrence caught me by such surprise, that when I saw this other 5.9, I thought someone had stolen mine.

I absolutely love starting this thing up. When I turn that key, there is such a satisfaction to hear it growl. I'm no racer, but I'd be lying if I said the Jeep doesn't always make me want to tear up the road.

​She now has around 137,000 miles (I don't drive much), which isn't young, but not entirely old. She'll be getting the best care and maintenance possible to keep her growling like the tiger she is.

Keep an eye out for post updates on my 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee 5.9 Limited V8!

In short, "Wildfire" by Catalano is a greatly melodic in-your-face feel good rock song, with a hint of ballad cleverly mixed in.

The song is nothing but the best tease for their highly anticipated (at least by me) follow up album to 2016's "Dark Skies", hopefully before the Summer of 2019 breaks.

Hands down, the best part of this song is its intro. These guys crafted an addicting mix of vocals, picking, power chords, and drums that left me sad to hear it end.

Roxxi's clearly Def Leppard-influenced vocals -- accompanied by some simple, yet intense-reverb-flavored picking -- get you ready for the exact power chords you need to get that dopamine release.

Honestly, when I first heard the song and got to the chorus, I immediately thought the beautifully harmonized "Wildfiiiire.." was a bit too long.

​I thought I'd quickly get tired of the chorus, but since the intro was rightfully so short, I'd have to keep playing the song over to hear that addicting intro again.

Doing this would inevitably lead me to the chorus, again, which, in time, I learned to love as much as it was written to be. Usually it's the chorus that hooks a listener, but for me, it happened to be that intro.

The lead singer of Catalano, Roxxi, used to be the lead vocalist for a sadly short-lived band named De La Cruz. Casey Jones -- what a guitarist!

De La Cruz initially released 5 songs for free, then a full-length studio album, broke up, then Roxxi, the lead vocalist, created his own band, Catalano, and released their own phenomenal full-length album, Dark Skies.

The guitar sound on Dark Skies was very sleazy and L.A. Guns-like. The guitar sound on Catalano's follow up single "Wildfire seems to dial back the sleaze in turn for a more generic rock sound.

Let's be clear -- it's the sound I'm referring to, not the actual guitar work and melodies of the song's instrument.

I'm not going to give you a favorite guitar sound preference for Catalano because honestly, both guitar sounds rock me equally, so I can take either one.

​It's just an observation I made and it gives us a hint of what to expect on their highly anticipated (at least by me) follow up album to Dark Skies.

When people attempt to interpret a song and figure out its meaning, it's usually the lyrics that are used. Probably because they're the most communicative and explicit parts of a song.

I'm definitely going to give the lyrics to this song the rightful respect they deserve (I've been dreamin' in color, dreamin' 'bout the flames...), but they're not the only part of the song that paints a message.

The song itself has a general message of enduring and taking on life's hardships through a metaphorical wildfire. Nice!

From this stems both an aggressive confidence, playful acceptance, and an acknowledging sadness of that hardship, that are equally reflected in not just the lyrics, but the notes and timing of the guitar -- especially the outro.

Towards the end of the song, after the guitar solo, the chorus repeats, but after the second time, Roxxi finishes it with a nice growling, "Oooo, yeah", followed by an "uh", as if someone just intensely bumped into him.

I love this part because not only does it make me laugh a bit at that Wildfire with Roxxi, but it shows that playful acceptance of the wildfire and kind of just washing your hands with it. It is what it is, Roxxi says with "uh".

However, once the last word of the last chorus is uttered, that playful acceptance of the wildfire becomes an acknowledging sadness, as beautifully timed guitar notes in the outro suggest.

For nearly the whole song, you're kickin' ass with power chords and drums -- taking on that wildfire -- but the mood immediately changes at the end, as you're now forced to confront the sad result the wildfire has left behind.

When I listen to that outro, I see a person standing in a field with the Sun setting. As the point of view zooms out and we see only the person's back, they're watching a fire dwindle and taking in the badly burned landscape.

The song does a perfect job, vocally and melodically, of capturing the emotional responsibility of both kickin' ass when needed and taking that ass kickin'.

I don't like to give out stars or numbers to show how much I like a song.

​I either like it or I don't, but if you need some sort of spectrum, just know that "Wildfire" has been intentionally left on my Google Music playlist since it debuted on May 23, 2018.

That's right! I've reviewed an almost year old song, and in the music industry, that's moving toward ancient material.

​Nonetheless, I can't just listen to a song only once or twice to really get a feel for how it resonates within me. A minimum of many months need to pass so I can pick up and learn all the little details within the song.

​Catalano is a band comprised of many talented people. I listen to a lot of rock, from Zeppelin, to Greta Van Fleet, to Cinderella, to Slash, Myles, and the Conspirators, and a lot of what is being considered #rockaintdead is really just #rockandrecycle.

Don't get me wrong, I understand that recycling material is how music evolves.

​However, Catalano does it in such a way where that discarded plastic water bottle doesn't become just a plastic fork some 8 year old uses to shove birthday cake down their throat.

It instead becomes another water bottle, because eventually I'm going to get thirsty again.

According to Catalano's Facebook page, they're currently working on their second studio album, a follow up to 2016's Dark Skies.

I'd go so far as to say Catalano is the Greta Van Fleet of Def Leppard, but since this type of rock isn't adored by pop culture at the moment, outside of your mp3 player, you'll sadly find it only in a Walmart commercial.

​But I don't care what's musically popular at the time, nor do I look to Walmart to find new rock music. I instead search the depths of the internet to find unheard of rock treasures such as Catalano.

No, they're not crafting 3 chord songs and calling it a day. If you listen to their songs, beneath the catchy vocals and melodic guitar, you'll find an incredible attention to detail.

The guys of Catalano take the time to give each component of their songs a distinct and memorable touch. Never are you bored. You're always kept on your feet and given the chance to develop many appreciations. 

It's very clear these guys dedicate a lot of time, emotion, and beer to make something contrasting; something that stands the test of time (on my playlist) rather than falls to the musical junkyard. They're the real deal.

​It’s been a year (minus a few weeks) since I purchased my Tuft & Needle queen mattress and have been sleeping on it nearly every day since. All in all, it was a successful purchase and my intense research on the best bed-in-a-box mattress for me, before I purchased it, paid off. I’d buy another Tuft & Needle mattress in a heartbeat.

​A lot of people have generously given their review of Tuft & Needle’s mattress, but only after lying on it for a night or a week at most. Below is my full review for key areas of Tuft & Needle’s mattress after sleeping on it for an entire year.

​Just great, really. Look, a mattress can only do so much good. It’s not going to sweep the kitchen floor or change the oil on the Jeep, but a good one can definitely make going to bed rather enjoyable.

​I can’t recall how many times my immediate thought when waking up during the night to change my position was, “Man, this mattress is so comfortable”. Yes, it’s normal to wake up in the middle of the night to change your position. No one is sleeping in the same position all night long.

​Normally, I sleep on the side between my side and my stomach -- whatever side that’s called -- but with my new Tuft & Needle mattress, I’ve tried my back and stomach on occasion and was as content as could be. Honestly, I’d never slept on my back, nor ever thought I would feel the need to.

​It’s important to note that I don’t inherently have any back pain or problems, which is a common association made by the mattress industry. Of course, I’m only 30 years old, but I also lift heavy (and light) objects with a lovely thoracic extension to avoid back problems.

​But as for aches, pains, and soreness, when there was the occasional day where I pushed and beat up my body just a little too much, the Tuft & Needle mattress was a godsend. When you have said body, I can’t describe the relief and just how good it felt to lay on this mattress.

​My previous mattress was a roughly 15 year old Sealy's Posturepedic mattress with a heavenly foam topper. It was extremely comfortable and the only complaint I had was the sagging middle that got worse over the years, but come on -- it was a 15 year old mattress.

​The sagging middle aside, the only position that worked on this spring mattress was sleeping on the side between my side and my stomach, and sleeping in the middle of the mattress that was slowly morphing into a hammock. Granted, I think poor middle frame support lead to the middle sagging on the Sealy’s.

​While the Tuft & Needle mattress is just a year old, its integrity is as strong and solid as the day I got it. There’s no middle sagging, which means I can sleep on any side and in any position with total comfort.

​My girlfriend sleeps with me on the weekends, and even with her weight contribution on the occasion, the surface of the Tuft & Needle mattress remains level. Having her next to me doesn’t cause any shifts in the mattress’ integrity, resulting in us meeting together in the middle at some point during the night.

​You know how you know when someone is sleeping next to you because you can feel their weight pulling the mattress down. Not here!

​The transfer of motion works as beautifully as one would hope. It’s weird because when I’m lying on the mattress, I can hear my girlfriend moving, but it’s not until I hear her feet plant on the colonial era pumpkin pine flooring that I know she has actually left the surface of the mattress.

​On a side note, my girlfriend will occasionally ask to take a nap in my bed. I know the blackout curtains in my room are great for daytime napping, but I think she secretly wants my Tuft & Needle mattress. She made this clear when she offered to accept it as a donation if at any point during Tuft & Needle’s 100 day return period the mattress wasn’t for me.

Now that I think about it, there was a point after receiving the mattress that I began to question its integrity. My Tuft & Needle mattress currently rests on a Zinus 14'' steel frame and has since day one. Roughly 2 weeks after I had been sleeping on the mattress, I began to slightly feel part of the steel frame underneath when I’d roll from one side of the mattress to the other.​

​To make a short story long, I reached out to Tuft & Needle about the issue -- phenomenal customer service. By the by, I’m not looking for someone to give me a back massage while supporting my customer issues, but damn was Tuft & Needle’s support team 1,200 miles short of doing it.

​The Tuft & Needle support rep was more respectful and attentive then I’d ever expect any person to be, and throughout the process, always made me feel like they had my back. Their support team mentioned that the mattress goes through a break in period, which could explain why I slightly felt the steel frame under the mattress.

​They also mentioned it could also, though not likely, be a defect in the mattress, but if it were, they assured me that they would replace it or offer me a full refund.

​Tuft & Needle’s support team said to give the mattress some more time to break in, I did just that, and to this day, I no longer feel any part of the frame of which my Tuft & Needle mattress rests upon.

​Even with bed sheets, mattresses do get dirty. The cleaning protocol recommended by Tuft & Needle is to spot clean. The Tuft & Needle mattress comes with a protective covering, but it’s not recommended to remove and wash it.

​So spot cleaning it is! With the Young Living Thieves all purpose cleaner I had at the time, I sprayed specific area of the mattress, and with a paper towel and a little elbow grease, easily removed any stains or marks from the mattress. I took a particular liking to how easily stains and marks were moved, almost as if they were sitting on just the surface, waiting for a push to be free.

​While there may be other bed-in-a-box mattresses that could have provided a very similar, if not better, experience for me, Tuft & Needle’s mattress met every expectation I could ever have from a mattress and more.

​The engineers of this mattress have impressed me. I have a great respect for a people that work hard and give much thought to solving problems that plague humanity. While I’m just an incredibly small fraction of that population, Tuft & Needle, at the very least, completely solved any mattress and sleeping problems that plagued me.

​I’d really like to be fair and say something negative about this mattress -- if it warrants it, of course -- but damn if I tried hard the other day to come up with something and just couldn’t. I mean, if there is one thing negative I could say about the Tuft & Needle mattress, it’s, the -- well, I’ve got nothing. Seriously.

​If you’re in the market for a new mattress, truly consider Tuft & Needle. I bought their queen size mattress a year ago for under $600 and took a huge gamble by not laying on it beforehand. Though, in retrospect, it wasn’t as big of a gamble as dropping $4,000 on a mattress from the local sleep experts.

​Tuft & Needle’s mattress is just what you need if you sleep alone or with someone else, are looking for very little transfer of motion with a solid and level integrity, are sensitive to chemical scents (the lovely faint smell it had was completely gone in a week), and are willing to accept that a not too soft, nor too firm, sleeping surface could work for you.

​There’s no risk with Tuft & Needle’s “100 Night Trial Policy”. If on day 99, you decide this mattress isn’t for you -- for any reason -- they’ll provide you with a full refund. What’s even cooler is that your unwanted mattress will likely be donated to charity.

​You can keep reading about every other bed-in-a-box mattress to the point of paralysis by analysis, but at some point, you’re going to have to just take a chance and buy a mattress.

​If to further convince you of my word’s value, consider my word on Jeep’s legendary inline six engine being a bulletproof, low-end torque work horse, on “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls being one of the best songs ever written, and on the late, great George Carlin leaving us too early and using the guise of a comedian to convey philosophical wisdom on the strange, but never without interest, existence we are all a part of, for a little while, at least.

​If you need a countertop dishwasher for your apartment, office, man cave -- or any location that has a compatible faucet, a 3 prong outlet, and dirty dishes -- HomeLabs' Countertop Dishwasher will not disappoint.

​First, I need to commend the fast shipping on this dishwasher by both Amazon Prime and HomeLabs. Check this out: I ordered the dishwasher on a Monday at 8:17 p.m., and at 8:52 p.m. of the same hour, was told the dishwasher had been shipped.

​Furthermore, the dishwasher was expected to arrive four days later, which I expected -- even for Prime. It's a dishwasher, not swim trunks! It was on my doorstep, with the FedEx guy, 2 days later on Wednesday in the afternoon at 1:13 p.m.

​And, to top it off, the order was placed on Prime Day of 2018, which, if you remember, Amazon had some serious issues, bugs, and dogs with their site.

​The dishwasher arrived via FedEx in packaging that would later seem heavier than the dishwasher itself. At only 65.2 pounds (according to FexEx), I could have easily lifted the package by myself if its dimensions were not an awkward 26'' x 24'' x 23'' (according to FedEx).

​Additionally, I live on the second floor, so this prompted the FedEx deliveryman to ask if I needed help bringing the dishwasher upstairs. Thank you, for that, FedEx!

​​According to FexEx, the total weight of the shipped dishwasher was 65.2 pounds. According to HomeLabs, the total weight of the naked dishwasher is 44.1 pounds. So, after some math, for the record, and if you care, the dishwasher came with 21.1 pounds of packaging.

​Once I stripped the packaging away from the dishwasher, I was easily able to lift the 44.1 pound unit onto my countertop, by myself.

​According to HomeLabs, the exterior of the dishwasher has a length of 19.6'', a width of 21.6'', and a height of 17.2''. According to my tape measure, the dishwasher has a length of 19.5'', a width of 21 5/8'' (21.62''), and a height of 17 3/16'' (17.18'').

​I couldn't find any interior dimensions from HomeLabs -- though there may be -- but with the interior rack removed, I measured a length of 17.5'' (stainless steel area), a width of 19 3/8'' (19.37''), and a height of roughly 11 1/4'' (11.25'') from the top of the interior to the top of the wash arm.

​On the electrical side, the unit comes with a 3 prong plug for grounding, which is to be expected. In other word, it fits into any standard 3 prong outlet that you'd plug an air conditioner into.

​On the plumbing side, the unit comes with a drain hose, an inlet hose, a quick connect piece, and a faucet adapter. The drain and inlet hoses come connected to the quick connect piece, so you just need to screw the other end of these hoses into the back of the dishwasher.

​The bottom end of the faucet adapter accepts the quick connect piece and the top end connects to your faucet. The top end of the faucet adapter has a thread size of both female 55/64'' - 27 (inside thread) and male 15/16'' - 27 (outside thread).

​This means that if your faucet has an aerator thread size of either female 15/16'' - 27 (inside thread) or male 55/64'' - 27 (outside thread), the HomeLabs' Countertop Dishwasher is compatible with your faucet. If you don't know your faucet aerator's thread size, just give the manufacturer of your faucet a call.

​To simplify the above for the non-plumbers (including myself), if your faucet has a female 15/16'' - 27 aerator thread size (inside thread), then the faucet adapter's male 15/16'' - 27 (outside thread) will screw in. If your faucet has a male 55/64'' - 27 aerator thread size (outside thread), then the faucet adapter's  female 55/64'' - 27 (inside thread) will screw in.

​A dishwasher is only as good as its dish detergent in the same way that a shower is only as good as its shampoo.

​In short, a pre-rinse of dishes combined with the dishwasher's "Heavy" setting and Seventh Generation's Dishwasher Detergent Gel Lemon Scent got the dishes sparkling clean, but this took quite a few loads to get right.

​You see, and if you care enough, I'm no tree-hugger, but I care about the impact my nihilistic existence has on the environment. I try to leave as little evidence as possible of my existence.

​So, the first detergent I bought and used in the dishwasher was Nature's Promise Automatic Dish Detergent Gel. It's basically a "non-toxic" grocery store knockoff version of Seventh Generation.

​Well, after running that first load, I was disappointed to not only find food still on the dishes, but some of the glassware was now covered with a cloudy residue. The dishes were dirtier than when they went in.

​​I love Dawn and it's what I've been using to clean my dishes by hand before purchasing the HomeLab Countertop Dishwasher. Having said that, I really wanted to combine Dawn and my new dishwasher.

​Well, I did just that, along with some baking soda according to an article on the Huffington Post and some other mommy blog. A couple pumps of Dawn (a very small amount to avoid suds from leaking from the seals of the dishwasher) and a spoonful of baking soda went into the load.

​When the load was finished, not only did the dishwasher surprisingly not leak of suds from the Dawn, but the dishes were actually cleaner than when I used the Nature's Promise Dish Detergent Gel. However, that cloudy residue was still evident on my glassware and silverware.

​So, to Google I went to determine what this cloudy residue was. I stumbled upon a YouTube video of a local Fox news station's report on my exact problem. Go figure!

​According to the video, phosphate was removed from dish detergents to meet a multi-state ban and this somehow explains why dishes are coming out with a horrible chalky and cloudy residue after being washed in the dishwasher.

​The news report says the chalky white residue appearing on the dishes after running the dishwasher is due to the limestone in hard water, and that lemon juice or a citrus additive breaks down the limestone.

​As you may have guessed, my next load consisted of Dawn plus the juice of 2 limes. When the dishes were done, some of the glassware was nearly sparkling, while some still had the cloudy residue, though improved from the last load.

​I suspected the location of the glassware in the dishwasher determined how well it could be cleaned, indicating that the dishwasher itself wasn't properly distributing my homemade dish detergent and also discriminating against certain dishes.

​I began to think maybe there was just something wrong with the dishwasher, but part of me thought it really was just the detergent. So, I did the research to qualify a dish detergent that was "non-toxic" and contained some type of citrus.

​​Enter Seventh Generation's Dishwasher Detergent Gel Lemon Scent.

​Due to the company I had recently, the next load of dishes would be massive. So, I pre-rinsed the dishes with a high pressure hot water (just to remove food particles), loaded the dishwasher, filled both the detergent dispensers to the rim with Seventh Generation's Dishwasher Detergent, set the wash cycle to "Heavy", and watched reruns of The Office.

​When the dishes were done, 1 hour and 40 minutes later, I opened the dishwasher to let the moisture escape. I then peeked in, with a particular interest for the glassware.

​You're supposed to wait 15 minutes before removing dishes after being washed because they become sensitive and break easier than they already can.

​I opened the door all the way, pulled the loading rack all the way out, and honed in on the glassware, only to immediately be taken back what I saw. Were my eyes deceiving me? Nope -- the glassware was crystal clear! There wasn't a cloud of chalky residue to be found on any dish, glass, or utensil!

​According to HomeLabs, this countertop dishwasher has a "6 place settings capacity".

​​For a quantitative measurement based on the interior dimensions I took, the interior of the dishwasher has a volume of roughly 3,813 cubic inches.

​​What does a typical packed dishwasher look like for me? You'll likely find 4 dinner plates (10.5''), 3 or 4 dinner bowls, 2 or 3 dinner saucer plates (7.75''), 2 or 3 full size glasses, a coffee mug, 3 forks, 3 butter knives, 3 spoons, 2 steak knives, a carrot peeler, a spatula, tongs, a chef's knife, a santoku knife, an 8'' x 8'' Pyrex, a 5'' x 9'' Pyrex, a 7.24'' x 11'' cutting board, a 2 cup measuring cup, a 16 oz. Ninja serving cup with cap, and maybe a small funnel.

​I can definitely fit a few more plates and small items in with the above load, but they're not dirty, yet.

​Behind the dishwasher's simple, yet sleek and attractive front design is also a simple and intuitive interface.

​​The dishwasher has 4 buttons total, with the 2 on the left being the power button and delay button (i.e., postpone wash cycle), and the 2 on the right being the program wash cycle button and the start/pause button.

​The display yield 12 different indicator lights, with the 3 on the top left being the rinse aid indicator, program ending indicator, and water failure indicator, and the 3 on the bottom left being a 2, 4, or 8 hour delay indicator.

​The remaining 6 indicator lights on the right are the program wash setting indicators. In order, they include "Heavy", "Normal", "ECO", "Glass", "Speed", and "Rinse".

​​No, it wasn't as simple as purchasing a dishwasher, loading dishes, and eating on a clean plate. I like to research before I buy, so I literally spent hours determining if the dishwasher itself could somehow be compatible with my pull out faucet.

​Turns out the dishwasher wasn't compatible with my American Standard pull out faucet, so after a couple trips to Lowes and Home Depot, and a few calls to Peerless faucet's customer support, I settled on Delta's 4453-DST faucet.

​However, the thread size of the Delta 4453-DST is 13/16'', so I purchased a 13/16'' (male) x 55/64'' (male) adapter from The Home Depot.

​Once I installed my new Delta 4453-DST faucet, I unscrewed to remove its aerator, used the rubber washer from the aerator on the 13/16'' side of the adapter I purchased from Home Depot, screwed the 13/16'' male side of the adapter into the faucet's 13/16'' female aerator thread, screwed the 55/64'' female side of the faucet adapter into the 55/64'' male size of the adapter I got from The Home Depot, and attached the dishwasher's quick connect to the faucet adapter.

​There were some leaks in the beginning, but another slight turn to tighten the faucet adapter put an end to that.

If your situation requires you to change out your faucet in order to have a compatible setup with HomeLab's Countertop Dishwasher, check out the:

• Delta 441-DST
• Delta 4453-DST (13/16'' x 55/64'' adapter is needed)

​​It turns out that HomeLabs' Countertop Dishwasher is a powerful little dish washing machine, and combined with Seventh Generation's Dishwasher Detergent Gel Lemon Scent for my specific needs, a complete win in my book.

​I work from home and work a lot, so this dishwasher allows me to allocate time I'd spend doing dishes to my work, or The Office, if you will.

​You are probably aware of the expression, "you get what you pay for", but being one of, if not, the cheapest countertop dishwasher you can buy, you clearly get a high quality, solid, and well-built machine.

​It lacks any feel suggesting the dishwasher is cheap, of low quality materials, and could fall a part in a couple of months if you're not gentler.

​In fact, it carries a contemporary aesthetic, sleek style, and futuristic feel to match its quality and craftsmanship. HomeLab's Countertop Dishwasher easily just looks better than comparable units twice its price.

​After using this dishwasher, it becomes clear to see that HomeLab's is a company dedicated to making goods that not only get the job done, and do so in style for an incredibly affordable price, but got it so right, that they still have enough time to leave a witty sticker on the side of the unit to warn the purchaser that any water inside the unit upon opening is normal and harmless, unless it has sharks.

​If you're interested in making a forge point profit on great buildings in Forge of Empires, then this is the calculator for ​you!

​This calculator will tell you how many forge points you need to add to a great building to lock your position and guarantee that position's forge point reward when the great building is leveled​, and if you'll generate a forge point profit or loss.

​Forge points are valuable tokens in Forge of Empires, so the more you have, the more you can advance. One method to acquire forge points is by investing in other players' great buildings. However, if you don't invest smartly, you may end up losing forge points when the great building you invested in is leveled.

To know if a forge point investment in another player's great building is good or bad, simply add 4 pieces of information to the calculator below:

• The total forge points needed to level the great building.
• The total forge points currently contributed to the great building.
• The reward of the position you want to be in.
• The current forge points contributed by the player in the position you want to be in.

​Once you add these 4 pieces of information and click "calculate", your results will tell you whether investing in this great building for the position you want is a good or bad investment.

​If it's a bad investment, don't invest any forge points into this great building for this position. If it's a good investment, you'll be given a magic number. The magic number is the amount of forge points you should invest in the great building right now to get the forge point profit when this great building is leveled.

​The magic number is called "magic" because it's the number of forge points that will allow you to gain a forge point profit and lock in your position for this great building (i.e., no one will be able to pass you and you'll secure your reward for the position you invested in).

​Let's say you come across this Temple of Relics great building. To level this great building, it needs 420 forge points. 354 forge points have already been contributed, which means only 66 forge points can be added to this great building.

​420 - 354 = 66

​The current player in first place has contributed 5 forge points to this great building, with a reward of 45 forge points. You want to take over the first place position and lock in the 45 forge point reward for yourself so no other players can pass you.

Using the calculator at the top, you punch in the following information:

• The total forge points needed to level the great building: 420
• The total forge points currently contributed to the great building: 354
• The reward of the position you want to be in: 45
• The current forge points contributed by the player in the position you want to be in: 5

​After hitting calculate, your results show that investing in this great building is good to make a forge point profit. Your results show you a magic number of 36 with a forge point profit of 9.

​You now add 36 forge points to this great building.

​By adding the 36 forge points to this great building, you added the minimum forge points needed to take first place while maximizing and guaranteeing your 9 forge point profit when this great building is leveled.

​To check the calculator, the 36 forge points you added to this great building reduces the amount of forge points that can be added to this great building to 30. This means that the maximum amount of forge points the player we knocked to second place can now add is 30, which if they did, would bring their total forge point contribution for this great building to 35.

​Their 35 forge points level this great building, but is still less than our 36 forge points. This means we remained in and took first place, are awarded 45 forge points, and with 36 forge points spent, take home a 9 forge point profit.

​At first touch, It feels like a marshmallow. Here is my first night review of my new Tuft & Needle queen mattress, along with its platform setup, and the reasons why I chose to go with Tuft & Needle over other major bed in a box companies.

​It's now 6:36 in the morning as I collect my thoughts for a review of a new mattress that I honestly have nothing bad to say about.

​Of the many bed in a boxes out there, I chose to go with Tuft & Needle for quite a few reasons, but will elaborate more on them later. For now, you want to know how I slept, don't you?

​I slept really well -- probably as good as I can sleep. Coming from a Sealy's Posturepedic mattress that was made circa 2002, the Tuft & Needle mattress has blown me away with its doorstep, boot-print-on-the-side-of-box (thank you, FedEx --- no seriously, I know this box was a haul) luxury.

​I decided to hop in bed and shut the lights off around 10:30 pm. One of the first things you'll notice when you get on this bed is that the only part of the bed that moves -- assuming you have a rock solid frame -- is the subtle downward compression to make room for you.

​It's amazing! There is absolutely zero motion transfer with this mattress. I discovered this unexpectedly and by accident about an hour before when my girlfriend got off the mattress while I remained.

​I was lying on the left side of the mattress on my stomach, face was also on the mattress, but turned inwards to face my girlfriend -- no pillows -- with my eyes closed. How freaky is it to open your eyes, expecting to see your girlfriend lying next to you -- or at least sitting on the edge of the bed, as I did hear her voice moving -- but instead find her standing on the floor at the foot of the bed -- not even touching the bed.

​Was my girlfriend a magician? No, but boy did she make me feel like I had seen an act when I opened my eyes, wondering why the sounds and vibrations that inform you a person is getting off a bed, never reached my senses. Very impressed!

​Getting hot was never really an issue for me when it came to sleeping, but as I was lying on my new mattress to drift away for the evening, I could't help but notice it's incredibly well ventilated and felt cool. How could a large piece of [proprietary] foam -- 10 inches thick -- feel as if there are tiny air pockets underneath your body?

​It was as if the mattress was just a half of an inch thick, and the cool air underneath my bed was being blow upwards. As part of my research on this mattress, Tuft & Needle mentioned their mattress' lack of layers and glue help to create ventilation to keep you cool during the night. They were right!

​Earlier, when I unraveled the mattress from its two protective, plastic casings, I pushed my hand into the mattress to get my first feel. Immediately I was struck with a comparison to a marshmallow -- and I hadn't eaten one of those in decades!

​The last plastic sheathing was still covering the mattress when I did this, as the mattress lay in its final, un-inflated state. Was I concerned the mattress was going to be too soft or cheap to be taken as a real sleeping contender, especially since it felt similar to the topper I had on my old Sealy's mattress? A little bit, but I had faith and this was probably the only time I ever did.

​You're taking a huge gamble when you buy a mattress online that you've yet to ever lie upon, but Tuft & Needle's 100 day, no hassle return policy wasn't the only thing allowing me to sleep easy that night.

​So there I continue to lie for the evening, further probing my mattress instead of counting sheep. After taking note of the mattress' great ventilation, I couldn't help but feel incredibly cradled and support by the mattress.

​It may be a 10'' proprietary foam mattress, but in no way does it feel like you're falling through it, even when sitting on its edge! In fact, I was truly concerned that I would feel the steel frame beneath the mattress when I would lie on it for the first time, but I later learned I was suffering from stress vision. You know, when you think something is true and it turns out to be not?

​​I must've sunk no more into the mattress than what was needed to keep my afloat. Granted, I'm a 168 pound male, but when my girlfriend was lying next to me earlier, I noticed absolutely no pull from her side of the bed.

​Was it her or was it the mattress? It was the mattress, of course! I already told you my girlfriend isn't a magician because she never told me she was.

​​​I'm not a back sleeper, but as I lied on my back, I was considering it. The comfort level was really good, the best I would ever need. But I'm a whatever falls in between a side and stomach sleeper, so I turned on to my simach and let the mattress take over.

​One of the problems with my 14 year old mattress is that I could feel everything from my hips on down, dip downward. For the night, I'd be bent, and in the morning, as you'd guess, I would have lower back pain.

​I'm also not one to suffer from back problems, but it was waking up recently on my old mattress with both neck and lower back pain that motivated me to research -- to the 9th degree, as they say -- and ultimately order my new Tuft & Needle mattress that same day.

​As I lay on my simach, I figured who needs to sleep when you have a new mattress. So I rolled onto my side completely to give the mattress the old television commercial alignment test and I was elated and impressed, once again!

​I felt completely aligned! Whether I actually was is to be determined by some arbitrary computer graphic line -- but I intentionally bent my body to mimic my old sleeping alignment, and when I relaxed, I felt my spine straighten right back out.

​I even bent my body in the opposite direction -- still on my side here -- to mimic the old sleeping pattern I never had, and wouldn't you know it; when I relaxed, my spine not only didn't align to the older sleeping pattern I did have, but it defaulted straight and solid once again.

​By the way, even though my colonial apartment with pumpkin pine flooring is as squeaky as a rubber ducky, my girlfriend, who sleeps downstairs, I imagine couldn't hear my proprietary foam aerobics because I could hear no sounds to keep me awake; oh -- I guess I had fallen asleep.

​Anyways, in the morning, before I opened my eyes, I immediately remembered that I was sleeping on a new mattress. From there, my focus went right to a back that was deficient of any pain. I was [already] sold!

​So, as I mentioned, I purchased a Tuft & Needle queen size mattress. To keep it off the ground, I purchased a Zinus 14'' steel frame, which I have to give credit to Zinus for -- what a solid piece of equipment!

​My old bed frame had no center support -- just a perimeter frame -- which would ultimately contribute to the center sagging of my old mattress.

​​I eventually upgraded to an IKEA platorm bed, but its center support was a single suspended metal beam, which would have likely been great for my new mattress, but didn't help in any way my already sagging Sealy's posturpedic.

​Not only was the Zinus 14'' steel frame incredibly light, it took me no more than 7 minutes to assemble it. I thought IKEA instructions were intuitive, with their wordless cartoons, but Zinus' assmbly instructions were printed on one side of an 8.5'' x 11'' paper, sectioned into 5 simple steps. I appreciated that!

​Nope, no squeaks! I know you were wondering if the steel frame made any noise whatsoever, but to be honest, I could hear the dogs barking outside over it.

​Lastly, I want to mention that the main reason I went with the Zinus 14'' steel bed frame for my new Tuft & Needle queen size mattress was not only because I couldn't fit a box spring into my colonial loft, but mainly because one reviewer of the Zinus frame learned -- after calling Tuft & Needle for a bed frame recommendation -- that Tuft & Needle actually uses Zinus for their mattresses in their Pheonix showroom.

​I'll eventually get mounting brackets to attach the head board the salesman remembered to give me when I purchased my old bed frame. For now, a bed skirt, pillows, and a comforter do the job!

​Yes, buying a mattress online is the thing to do in 2017, and you will not be short of choices. From Purple, which has an amazing marketing team, to Casper, which sounds like a '90s animated ghost comedy, to GhostBed, which doesn't sound like a '90s animated ghost comedy. But why did I go with Tuft & Needle?

It's time to paint the kitchen, and you know you want to go with a green, but you're not sure how light or dark you should go.

You don't want to paint the kitchen too light because you want some color and vibrancy to come through, but you also don't want to paint it too dark for the fear of making the kitchen look smaller and claustrophobic.

Well, the truth is that whether you decide to paint a room lighter or darker, you run the risk of not only making the room appear smaller, but you will literally make the room smaller. That's right! ​Every time you put a coat of paint on your walls, you're technically decreasing the amount of space and volume in that room.

Now, it'll probably take a couple ten thousand coats of paint to really notice how close the couch has moved to the television, or for that cliché sunflower picture in your kitchen to hang just a foot from your face as you eat frosty fruity flakes for breakfast, but once you're done, who cares if you can't find the remote!

The thickness of a coat of paint is measured in mil. 1 mil is one thousandth of an inch or 1000 mils = 1 inch. Now, if the thickness of an average coat of paint is 4 mil, or 0.000333333 feet (thank you Google length converter), your newly painted room will still technically become smaller, but it might not appear to because you've chosen a good, light color.

Now, let's say you painted that same room -- same light color as before -- 25,000 times. Even though it's a light color, the room would not only become smaller, it would actually feel smaller because each wall would protrude inward by 8.3 feet or 100,000 mil.

But wait! How silly of us -- we forget to account for the fact that wet paint is thicker than paint that has dried. If a paint is 50% solids by volume, then your 100,000 mil wet paint wall will reduce in thickness by about 1/2 or 50,000 mil when the paint dries.

This is a great news because instead of each wall protruding inward at 8.3 feet or 100,000 mil, the walls will instead protrude inward at just 4.15 feet or 50,000 mil, leaving just enough room for that all-important second coat of paint.

Make no mistake -- using disposable foods gloves to change your Jeep's rear differential fluid is a great idea if you'd enjoy licking your fingers afterwards.

I received a box of disposable food gloves for one Christmas -- I know, practical, right? Seriously, they were! Instead of going out and purchasing 6 mil nitrile gloves to protect my hands from the work I'd be performing on my Jeep, I decided to be resourceful and use the disposable food gloves.

To my surprise, the disposable food gloves worked great for changing the Jeep's oil, ccv valves, etc, but when it came time for the differential fluid, my hands were in over their head? Finger nails?

In my excitement of removing my Jeep's rear differential cap for the first time to change the rear differential fluid, I forgot to place the oil drain pan directly underneath the rear differential as I removed the last bolt.

To make a long story longer, the disposable food gloves already had serious tears in the finger tips from removing the rear differential bolts -- my skin was completely exposed. So when I removed that last differential bolt and cracked the silicone seal with a flat screw driver, I was quickly reminded that gravity exists.

Of the many jobs words have, one of those jobs is to help identify the world around us. That day, I was reminded of this specific job when a non-edible fluid breached my disposable "food" gloves. My hands were marinaded in rear differential fluid.

If you know what rear differential fluid smells like, it stinks, unlike regular engine oil. No worries though, because I'll just wash my hands with some Dawn afterwards and they'll be ready to rotate my potatoes for dinner. Nope, that didn't work, because even after scrubbing my hands with hot water and dawn, my hands still reeked of rear differential fluid, once the lavender silk evaporated - lovely scent.

So I headed to Tractor Supply Company to pick up Oil Eater's Cleaner Degreaser for the rear differential fluid on the driveway, other miscellaneous stuff, and a good hand cleaner. As I browsed the hand cleaning products, GOJO's Cherry Gel Pumice Hand Cleaner stuck out at me for some reason -- probably because it was the only hand cleaner on the barren shelf.

I quickly checked its reviews on Amazon, it had almost 5 stars for some 15 or so reviews, and I was sold!

Once I got home, I grabbed the GOJO Cherry Gel Pumice Hand Cleaner, headed to the sink, and squirted some on my hands. As the word "gel" on the bottle indicated, it was a gel and smelled of a lovely ice cream truck cherry. I let the water run to get hot while I lathered my hands with the gel. The gel quickly turned into a soap-like consistency and I could feel the grittiness of the pumice as I scrubbed my hands. 

As the hours went on after washing my hands with the GOJO Cherry Gel Pumice Hand Cleaner, there wasn't a trace of smelly differential fluid to be found on my hands. The cherry scent had long since faded and I had my old hands back again!

A couple weeks later, I would call on the amazing hand cleaning ability of GOJO's Cherry Gel Pumice Hand Cleaner after giving my two boxers a bath on a humid 90°F day.

In an effort to use less harsh products around the house, to clean the dogs, we used a natural product called Flea Free Pet Scents Herbal Shampoo. After scrubbing down and rinsing off the dogs really good, the product seemed to make their coats squeaky clean, but damn did my hand smell to high heaven of ​eucalyptus oil.

So, just as I did at first with the differential fluid, I went to the sink and washed my hands with Dawn. To my surprise, my hands were still incredibly pungent of eucalyptus oil. No worries though -- it was a natural product and the smell would fade as the hours went on in the same way that skunk smell was a natural product.

The smell didn't fade. In fact, the smell was so strong that my eyes and nose started to become itchy and my sinuses began to clog. With this new knowledge, I might as well have washed the dogs with a skunk, had I enjoyed a skunk's lovely scent.

Then, just like realizing the oil drip pan was not under the rear differential as I removed the last bolt, I realized that what was on my hands was an oil. Once this connection was made, I immediately grabbed the GOJO Cherry Gel Pumice Hander Cleaner from my tool bag, headed to the sink, and scrubbed my hands just as I did before.

As the ice cream truck left once again, the smell of the eucalyptus oil was no where to be found on my hands. I was blown away again!

GOJO's Cherry Gel Pumice Hand Cleaner was effectively able to remove both rear differential fluid and eucalyptus oil from hands in one scrub. All that remained was a light, but likely artificial, cherry scent that faded as the hours went on. The bonus from this product is that it doesn't dry out your hands, as it leaves them incredibly moist and smooth.

In the words of comedian Lewis Black, "You have to be brain-dead not to think a fart is funny." (Me of Little Faith, 2008) 

We're counting down our top 5 funniest fart and toilet scenes from movies. These scenes are certain to make you crack a smile on even your worst of days.

Before Lloyd (Jeff Daniels) heads over to Mary Swanson's house for a date, Lloyd's best friend Harry (Jim Carrey) spikes Lloyd's coffee with a whole bottle of laxative out of sheer jealously.

Moments after Lloyd arrives at Mary Swanson's house for the date, he is met with an overwhelming urge to evacuate his colon.

Funniest Part: Lloyd's bathroom responses to Mary Swanson.

From the hallway, Mary says, "I hope you're not using the toilet -- it's broken." To which Lloyd responds, "No, I was just shaving." Mary then questions, "Shaving?" To which Lloyd says, "Yeah, I was running a little late. I thought this would save some time".

Why This Is Funny: Lloyd's responses are funny for 2 reasons. The first is that he arrived at Mary's with a clean shaven face, to which we have to assume Mary noticed when Lloyd arrived at her house.

The second is Lloyd's attempt to genuinely convince Mary that by shaving at her place, that would save some time -- a classic Dumb and Dumb moment. A response by Lloyd intended to be taken seriously by Mary, according to Lloyd, but to anyone with a brain, shaving will take the same amount of time whether he shaved at his house or Mary's.

Just moments after shutting the lights off for the evening, indignant husband Seth (French Stewart) begins his colon tirade in an effort to annoy his wife Chelsea (Bridgette Wilson) before the two fall asleep.

Funniest Part: The unique and acrobatic farts

Seth's first two basic farts are designed to disturb the peace, with the third fart exemplifying his impressive release coordination.

Just before he releases the third fart, Seth says to Chelsea, "...I feel like I've passed the worst of it and I need some cuddle time. Oh wait, I was wrong -- incoming." The third fart comes to us in a high pitch squeal at first and then abruptly graduates to an air puncher, exemplifying Seth's phenomenal sphincter control.

However, Seth's sphincter skills really shines with his fourth fart. Just before he releases it, he says, "Feet are on fire. Wait wait wait wait wait." What follows is a single, gaseous fart that is selectively broken up and impressively muted at intervals as it leaves Seth's colon.

Why This Is Funny: While most movie fart scenes attempt to extract humor from the loudness and texture of the fart, the farts from "Love Stinks" show us an amazingly acrobatic and skillful release of methane. Superb control and coordination.

Almost immediately after lactose intolerant surrogate for Tiffany Wilson, FBI agent Kevin Copeland (Marlon Wayans), consumes nearly an entire tray of cheese hors d'oeurves, the gas leaks begin and she (he) breaks for the toilet.

Funniest Part: "Move, bitch."

Since Kevin is posing as Tiffany Wilson, he must use the women's bathroom to keep his cover. As he storms the women's bathroom door, he literally runs into a lady leaving the bathroom and says, "Move, bitch."

Why This Is Funny: Kevin says, "Move, bitch" as Kevin, in a deep, masculine voice instead of his feminine, bubbly imitation Tiffany Wilson voice. Kevin's complete lack of regard to keeping his true identity a secret as he runs into the lady leaving the bathroom tells us how badly his rear needs to make contact with the lips of a toilet.

Once Kevin touches on the toilet, he's quickly reminded that his girlfriends followed him into the bathroom from their mirror conversation. Remembering that he is posing as Tiffany Wilson, he attempts to control the gas flow rate.

Unfortunately, Kevin has been plagued with high pressure methane. This means that no matter how slow he attempts to release the gas, large volumes of trumpets break through, leaving little to no room for control of flow rate.

Kevin eventually yields to the pressure in his colon and unleashes the gaseous wrath. This disturbs the peace of his girlfriends' mirror conversation. Almost as if they were fearful for their safety, the girlfriends anxiously leave the bathroom and Kevin to his own devices.

A live video feed at 2:43 a.m. of young couple Kisha (Essence Atkins) and Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) sleeping in their bed captures the dark, inexplicable flatulence of a sleeping and almost completely motionless Kisha.

Funniest Part: The force of Kisha's farts inflate the bed sheets while she remains completely motionless.

The first fart introduces itself after a loud rumble, which, after the fart, we assume the rumble came from Kisha's colon. Right off the bat, the first fart pitches a tent due to its force and wakes Malcolm up. At times, the first fart appears to wane, but comes back and remains forcefully strong until the end.

Malcolm makes it known the first fart is rancid because he coughs and says, "How could someone so cute be so stink?" He brushes it off and heads back to sleep.

Why This Is Funny: The powerful force of Kisha's farts, reflected in the movement of the bed sheets, is met with absolutely zero movement or response from Kisha until it wakes her up.

3 minutes later, the second fart comes roaring in with such a force and smell that it forces Malcolm to get out of bed to fetch an air freshener.

As Malcolm makes an effort to freshen up the air while Kisha remains asleep, the next series of farts begin and are released in an almost conversation-like manner with Malcolm.

Eventually, the smell of the subsequent farts is no match for the air freshener. Malcolm is forced to leave the room, only to be yelled at one last time by a fart who attempts to claim victory without Malcolm hearing, but he does.

While Deuce (Rob Schneider) and his father, Bob (Richard Riehle), are having a serious conversation in the bathroom about man whoring, a gentleman walks in and creates quite the colon backing track.

Funniest Part: To this day, no one knows the conversation Deuce and his dad had in the bathroom.

Try as you may, you'll never be able to comprehend the conversion between Deuce and his father, as the gentleman in the stall creates an attention diversion.

Why This Is Funny: The serious inquiry about man whoring by Deuce to his father brushes up against and holds hands with the slapstick intestine orchestra during their entire conversation.

Every effort is made to hear what sage advice Bob has for Deuce regarding man whoring, but the gentleman in the stall next to them -- who is blowing out his intestines -- would rather you not know.

What makes this scene even more hilarious is that both Deuce and Bob completely ignore the trumpet screams from the gaseous gentleman in the stall until he dumps what sounds like clam chowder into the toilet.

In the midst of collecting his thoughts to respond to his dad, Deuce finally caves and turns to look at the stall in what appears to be complete perplexity and disgust.

That brings an end to our top 5 funniest movie fart scenes! Let us know below what you think of our list and if there are other hilarious movie fart scenes worthy of acknowledgment.